Addiction Session 1

Hi, my name is Mil-Anne, and I am a blog addict.

It all started when I read the teeny-booper pocketbook, Sweet Valley Twins and Friends, in grade school. I was amazed at how words can create a TV out of paper. Since we didn't have much money for pocketbooks, I borrowed them from my schoolmates. Although, some of them are not much of a reader, I was. There came a time, I don't have anymore books to borrow, because I have them read already. Or they were pretty much selfish.

I discovered Carolyn Keene's teenage detective Nancy Drew. And because of her, I was so into mystery and suspense fiction. I borrowed from the high school library and fortunately we where allowed to borrow them even if we were in grade school.

Alas, I read them all again. I was not interested in Hardy Boys and Sweet Valley High or University afterward, I began to be consumed by the want to read and smell books...

That's when those thoughts came by. I picked up a pen and started drawing and writing on the unused pages of my grade school notebooks. Because I had Nancy Drew as my inspiration, out came Detective April Brown Fox, my version of the titian haired girl from River Heights. I also created comics in vernacular since I was a big fan of Bata Batuta and Funny Komiks--I can easily relate to them and even submitted my Funny Story which was then published in the 90's (but I was not able to save a copy).

In our Junior year, we were given an elective class, in place of our old Technology and Home Economics, I chose Journalism.

I became the Features Editor of the school paper. Bitterness avalanche--none of my feature stories were published. I joined press conferences and was able to get a seventh place in feature writing in English. After that, the passion grew, but the mainstream was not an audience.

Puberty was the culprit for the passionate words. Love was what I thought I felt when I was amused at his jokes and witty remarks. I thought it was all love and feelings, they were all mere infatuation which was later cured by angry poetry and then the peaceful sets of haiku.

In college I escalated from Nancy Drew to Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple and the other Agatha Christie characters. I also can't take my hands off Sydney Sheldon's and Anne Rice's. And that was when, I decided that I should major in Journalism. However, I know, I can't be in a straight news area.

Soon after my "iska" days in PLM (Manila), I stepped out of my zone and met Sue Grafton's series of ABCs...and Harlan Coben's thick plots. I was also interested in Calvin and Hobbes' escapades, Pugad Baboy and Baby blues's Antics. Around that time, I was free-flowing and uploading my written words online. They call it, "blogging".

Even though I know, no one reads them, I felt liberated. There's this feeling that I may not have the mainstream audience as I imagined before, but, there are the anonymous people, like me, who enjoys reading through other people's chutzpah, daily thoughts and what have yous...And I kinda like the way it looks online.

I still have the written words on paper, bounded by a black leather board. I also have some astray papers, where they are, I don't know, can't remember. But I started to feel saturated one day. And that's when my mind went blank.

The white light of the monitor was blaring on my face and I couldn't even think of a sensible intro. Tabula Rasa.

This went on for months...At times, I had great ideas for posting. And when i get the chance to write them....they were all gone. Vacuumed by oblivion. Aside from eating MSG containing foods, I was losing "it" from my office work and tasks.

One day, someone left me. And I was enveloped with sadness and freedom. I grabbed the keyboard ans just started with a few lines. Counting claws...day 1. The thought of the final installation of "counting claws" post, fueled me. Until, I was overflowing with words again.

Until, I became an addict. I think, I am...For all I care, it's a healthy, not self-destructive and non-annoying addiction.

No help needed. I just need you to listen.